So, Valentine’s Day is soon upon us. St. Valentine is quite the mystery man if I do say so myself. If you’ve ever attempted to look up historically accurate accounts of St. Valentine you’ll find quite the legends. But, through my ongoing history-nerd OCD research I have narrowed it down to two final legends. (If you aren’t going to read the whole epic blog…at least skip to the bottom.)
Legend 1: St. Valentine was a priest during the reign of Emperor Claudius II. Claudius, being quite the dictator…decided that his soldiers were losing battles and shying away from war because of their families and lovers…darn. So, he basically went on a rampage, like most Roman rulers around 200 A.D. and banded/cancelled all engagements and marriages in any time of battle. Valentine, being the Romantic that he was, continued to secretly marry couples hidden in church basements and bell towers. Claudius found out and threw Valentine in jail. While rotting away in prison, Valentine was believed to have fallen (pause for dramatic effect) secretly in love with the jailors daughter (which I feel this is the dramatized version…besides the fact that everyone knew the jailors daughter was blind…). The day before Claudius had Valentine executed, the priest wrote a letter to the jailors daughter signed “Your Valentine” and from then on it stuck. Quite the sign-off line. Also, the poor girl was in fact blind…how was she supposed to read it? Legend said that she would exchange roses to have children continually read her the letter after he died. Sigh... It’s a legend. He was executed on February 14, 270 AD.
Legend 2: Everyone knows how intense and crazy blood hungry the ancient Romans were. So, we roll back to pagan times in the ancient Roman Empire. In those times, people celebrated a holiday on February 14 to honor Juno… the mythological Queen of Roman Gods and Goddesses. We all know Romulus and Remus of course…the founders of Rome. Following the bloody tradition, the Roman priests would sacrifice a goat for fertility and a dog for “purification”. Following the command of R & R, young “gentlemen” would chop up the goats and go around slapping women with the sacrificial animal hide. Ladies, who wouldn’t be flattered by getting wacked with a bloody hunk of dog or goat meat?? Roman women though, would gladly receive the slap, as they believed that the practice would make them more fertile…Oh the lengths of fertility. Later, during the Feast of Lupecalia, all the single ladies in the city would place their name in a big urn in the middle of town. Bachelors would then play the Roman lotto for their new girlfriend to be…and became paired with the girl whose name was on the stone for the rest of the year (rough 10 months if you got a bad one). Hopefully they got a descent match…if not, I guess they’d throw the stone back in and try again next year. WHAT ROMANCE!
So ending the legends…or tying them together that is… basically people became Christian and saw this practice as ridiculous...and made the dating lotto illegal…and Christians spread the “real way” to meet true love…o wait, they stuck women in corsets and kitchens...well , at least we do it right in 2011 after what, 1000 years? Yet even in 2011, some people should still get the memo…I won’t mention any names. And as for Valentine, some priest deemed love to Valentine around 500 AD…after his legend number one. Let’s stick with that.
Ending the longest blog I’ve ever written…My grandmother once told me that my luck with love is because I’m Italian…that Italians love to a different level. No one can quite match us…except for other Italians, which I’m commanded not to marry because they are...to say the least…not to our level. So I guess I’m stuck. We’re just that deep. Sometimes, I’ve heard that my luck in love is because I’m not Catholic. Well, as written above, nobody seems to get it right...
…Love. Oh, the four letter word that can turn words in the mind so quickly. Love, amore, agape…the Bible says that Love is more than just a “feeling.” That people have made it a temporary, shallow feeling of want, lust, and even affection. It’s funny that you can go from loving Valentine’s Day to loathing the upcoming, pre planned day where you know you will voluntarily turn off your phone, get the cheesiest movie and hold up with a calorie fest.
So…if you have a lover…good for you. Just remember that LOVE is meant to be shared, not centralized and selfishly given to one other person. After my disaster, failure has opened my eyes to reality. It’s about loving yourself, about loving people, and most importantly loving God…after all…Valentine was a man of God…keep the legend going.
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